"It" : A "King" size novel!

There are a lot of books that are enriching and teach life lessons. This may not be one of them! But if you are open to it, you can learn from anything life throws at you! Even a horror story! 'It' is a "King" size novel that I am talking about! Sometimes it bores you to death by talking about death! "It" is a book by Stephen King. It was made into 2 movies which were released by Warner Brothers quite recently. It garnered quite a bit of praise and attention. As one of those bibliophiles who want to read "It" before watching "It" on the big screen, I did not watch the movies. Now finally I can watch them, but after reading the book, I am not really inclined  to do so! 

Here's why! Stephen King is a very popular author. He is the "King" of horror genre. I read a couple of his books hearing people praising him  to no end! The most recent book I read was "It".  Stephen King is from Maine! And the book is all about a small town in Maine called Derry! And let me tell you, after you are done with it, you would never want to visit Maine! Because there's way too much of Maine in that book! And I do not mean it in any negative way. There is this fictional town called Derry created by Stephen King. And there's about 1500 pages of description of the town, the places and things that make a typical small city in Maine. It's vivid and it feels as though you are walking the streets of Derry, Maine across time and space. 

There are moments of sheer brilliance throughout the novel! But I must admit that it is tedious! I had to continue reading it because I had bought it and there was always a curiosity about who the fearsome clown behind it all was! But it is very tedious to read! I decided not to go through the drudgery of reading another 1000+ pages horror book.

And coming to the "horror" part! If you have read a couple of Stephen King's books, you would know that the horror element is vague and not so well defined. It's not a banshee or a ghost or a vampire! It's always something you cannot quite put your finger on! Sometimes (And more often than not!) it's the place! One thing that Stephen King presents beautifully is that the real scary thing in this world is human behavior. The brutality and the bestiality that humans stoop to, is often portrayed in a very raw in your face way! One surprising thing I found was there were elements of human psychology, subtle aspects of it, which were quite insightful. I had not seen this in either "The shining" or "Salem's lot". 

Well Stephen King is one of the most successful authors in the world. A lot of his novels have successfully been converted into Hollywood blockbusters! I still however, would be wary about reading another Stephen King novel. It's like if you read 2-3, it's like you've read them all! I would still read his novellas. I have heard a lot of praise showered on them! 

Having said that, there are some life lessons that can be learnt from this novel. There were some subtle aspects of how children are reared. How their early life pretty much dictates their destiny. If a parent screws up during the impressionable years of a child's life, that child has to deal with those traumas for the rest of the life.

In this story, there is a single mother, a widow, who is over protective of her child. She is afraid to let him loose. She feels that without her, her son cannot survive out in the wild. She is constantly doting on him. She keeps getting worried, fearful that her son might hurt himself. When it's drizzling, she says her son can't go out without catching a terrible cold. Her son, having witnessed his mother is like a tuning fork. The mother's fear and tension reverberate on the son. As a result, the son starts constricting his throat whenever he is tense (especially so when the mother is tense, fearful or telling him he's weak and sick! The mother thinks her son has asthma and takes him to a doctor. The doctor having failed to convince the stubborn mother that her son is normal, decides to prescribe a placebo! A concoction of water with camphor in an aspirator. This is a very very interesting part of the story. It kinda resonated with me. The limits that I have, the chains that bind me, are what were instilled in me as a kid. It kinda made realise, that you have to watch out how you raise your child. Oftentimes, in the play ground, I have made the same mistake. Whenever my son wanted to play with a bigger slide, I would try to resist. I would tell him "Don't do that son! It is too high! You'll hurt yourself! You don't know how to do it!". I began examining why I do it. I did find my answer one day.

One day my son played in the biggest slide in the playground. I was proud! I happily told my son's accomplishment to my mother. My mother immediately panicked and said "Don't do that! He's too young! He'll hurt himself! Let him play in the smaller slides, swings etc where you can hold him in case he falls! Be careful!" and on and on it wen't for half an hour. I was going through a horror story like Stephen King, only it wasn't Stephen King, but my mother who was narrating it! The horror story revolved around all the things that could possibly go wrong! Now I realised, where that incessant stream of thoughts, the ones that cause panic and anxiety originate from!

Stoicism has helped people get through some really tough situations and I am no exception to the rule! It is when I was reading Ryan Holiday's the Daily Stoic that I came across the following quote from Seneca 

"There is nothing so certain in our fears that's not yet more certain in the fact that most of what we dread comes to nothing!"

Here's another quote from Marcus Aurelius -

"Clear your mind and get a hold on yourself and, as when awakened from sleep and realising it was only a bad dream upsetting you, wake up and see that what's there is just like those dreams"

You see all these fearful thoughts that arise when the mind is projected into a hypothetical future serve absolutely no purpose other than making us ill! I am not for a moment suggesting that we should be careless with our kids when they are playing. But stopping them from playing and exploring, because our mind is projecting something fearful in the future would only stunt their physical and mental development.  Instead of going to the future or past, be in the present. For that is all that exists! Only the present is real! Be observant when your child plays. Enjoy the spectacle. Be alert and relaxed like in a meditative zen like state. Leave your smartphone at home and enjoy your child's activities at the playground. If you are alert, you will be able to protect them should they loose their balance or miss a step. And in spite of this, if they fall, tend to them, but make them realise that in life, one needs to get up after every fall,  brush themselves and then start playing again. It's ok to fall. It should be treated as a lesson to do something better!